>> FOR ME, ATTENDING PROFESSIONAL CONFERENCES IS A COUPLE-TIMES-A-YEAR KIND OF THING FOR MY JOB.

BUT CALENDARS COLLIDED AND I FOUND MYSELF ATTENDING TWO SUCH EVENTS THIS WEEK.

THERE WAS A JOURNALISM GATHERING IN NORTH CAROLINA, AND THEN THE ANNUAL CONFERENCE OF THE MINNESOTA COUNCIL OF NONPROFITS WRAPPED UP THIS AFTERNOON JUST A FEW BLOCKS FROM HERE AT RIVERCENTRE.

THE OBJECTIVES OF SUCH EVENTS ARE NETWORKING, EDUCATION, AND TRYING TO REMEMBER A COUPLE THINGS YOU WROTE DOWN IN YOUR NOTEBOOK.

SURVIVING REQUIRES SOME DISTINCT SKILLS.

LET’S SAY THAT YOU RUN INTO SOMEONE WHO LOOKS FAMILIAR, BUT WHO YOU CAN’T QUITE PLACE.

THE STRATEGY IS TO GREET THEM, “HEY!” AND THEN MAKE GENERIC CONVERSATION WHILE YOU FURIOUSLY RACK YOUR BRAIN FOR THEIR NAME.

OH, THERE ARE NAMETAGS.

BUT THEY’RE INVARIABLY DANGLING JUST NORTH OF THE BELLY BUTTON, AND — NO MATTER HOW SUBTLE — THE DOWNWARD GAZE IS A TELL.

AT THE END OF THE FIRST DAY, THERE’S SOME KIND OF RECEPTION.

BECAUSE THE HOTEL COULDN’T QUITE ACCOMMODATE YOUR DIETARY RESTRICTIONS — AND EVERYONE AT THESE THINGS HAS DIETARY RESTRICTIONS — YOU’RE STARVING.

AND SO THERE YOU ARE — A YELLOWTAIL CHARDONNAY IN ONE HAND, A TEENY PLATE OF CARROTS STICKS AND HUMMUS IN THE OTHER — AND THERE’S A COLLEAGUE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN SINCE THE LAST CONFERENCE.

YOU REMEMBER THE NAME, THANK GOD, BUT THEN A DIFFERENT CALCULUS BEGINS.

DO I KNOW THIS PERSON WELL ENOUGH TO HUG?

NO.

SHAKE HANDS?

CAN I BALANCE THE TINY PLATE ON TOP OF THE PLASTIC WINE GLASS?

IT’S AN EXTROVERT’S GAME AND — EVEN FOR THIS EXTROVERTED VETERAN OF VARIOUS CONFERENCES, SUMMITS AND CONVENINGS — IT CAN BE EXHAUSTING.

HEY!

I KNOW.

MAYBE I SHOULD HIT THE CONFERENCE CIRCUIT TEACHING A SESSION ABOUT HOW TO ATTEND A CONFERENCE.

AND, YES, DON’T WORRY: THE POWERPOINT SLIDES WILL BE MADE AVAILABLE.